There are times when sex becomes too boring and too predictable.

Sustaining intimacy in every relationship requires deliberate effort and you have to be bold and specific about what you need, want and enjoy. Assumptions aren’t a good choice in this case. Your partner might not be getting the signs you’re giving them about what you want to experience in bed.

If you’re one of those that flow with tide even when you’re not happy or you don’t know the best way to communicate this with your partner, we’ve got you covered.

Here are ways you can tell your partner what you want in bed.

1. Communicate rightly

A huge part of how your partner is going to respond is down to how you talk to them about it. The best way to tell your partner what you want in bed is to be direct, but also complementary and kind.

You may want to avoid doing it right after sex when they’ll probably be feeling particularly vulnerable. See if you can bring it up organically, rather than as a big announcement where they might feel under attack. Then be kind, but firm.

2. Use written words

If you’re part of the people that seem shy or less confrontational about sex, a written note can help. Some things are better written which can even spice up things for both parties. Drop a note on what you’ll like to experience in bed.

You can drop those notes in places where you know your partners will easily find them. Sex texting is also another way to write what you want. This will give you both the thought of satisfying each other at home.

How to tell your partner what you want in bed [Bustle]How to tell your partner what you want in bed [Bustle]


3. Take the lead

According to studies, 66 percent of men wish women would take charge in bed more often. If the woman initiated sex as often as the man in a relationship, they enjoyed sex more than if the man always started it. It can also be the other way round. Show her what you want from her. Equality is sexy when it comes to romance. Good communication is really about practice.

ALSO READ: Ladies! These are 5 things you shouldn’t say to your man during sex

4. Talk during sex, talk afterwards

A lot of times, people find it less awkward at the moment to say, “oh, does this feel good?”

Afterward, you can ask about what worked, what didn’t work, and what they might want more of. Somebody’s going to have start the conversation and be brave, so it might as well be you because you’re going to feel good about it in the end.