Relationships are beautiful when it is with the right person. Right from a young age, many people have a picture of the kind of relationship they want.
Some of these attitudes could be toxic to your partner, however, it is possible not to see it this way because it is a lifelong quality that you have always wanted.
Just because you’ve seen many people do something doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for everyone. And if a healthy relationship with someone you love is ultimately what you want, then you need to question what you think is “normal.”
Below are three habits that people think are normal behaviors, but could be detrimental to your relationship:
Being a control freak
Telling your partner what to wear, who to hang out with, who they can’t see, and when they have to spend time without you are all controlling behaviours. Being jealous and controlling your partner is never proof of your love for them. If you love them, you’ll respect their autonomy. Also, if you trust them, you wouldn’t try to control them. That includes not doing behaviors like checking their phone, getting upset about their friendships, asking them to behave or dress differently, and, of course, crying to get them to feel bad for you.
It is perfectly fine to create boundaries and let your partner know when you’re uncomfortable. If they respect and love you you’ll come to a compromise. However, compromise happens when the demands are reasonable.
Expecting them to know what you need
Instead of stating what you need, you try to drop subtle hints to your partner. You act tired or upset and wait for them to ask you what’s wrong. Or you get mad when they don’t anticipate that something upset you. Basically, you expect your partner to be a mind-reader. By expecting your partner to know your needs, you’re creating resentment for yourself to feel. Your expectations are literally unobtainable, so you’re setting yourself up to feel disappointed. So instead of dropping hints, communicate. Tell them what you need.
Not fixing the problems
Not fixing the problems in a relationship but opting for sex is a bad thing. The same goes for gifts or fancy dates. If you think that you can solve a big argument by getting into bed or swiping your credit card, you are sorely mistaken. When you have a conflict in the relationship, it’s like an open wound. You might think you’ve made up by having sex or accepting a pair of gold earrings, but what you’re doing is putting a bandaid over the wound.
With time, the wound will start to get infected and grow. Eventually, the problem will explode in your face and you’ll be left with an even bigger problem that’s harder to solve according to Taylor.
In a relationship, you have to deal with issues head-on. If you disrespect your partner, talk about it, and decide how to make things better.