5 Reasons Why Life Is So Hard And 40 Ways To Work It Out To A Better One

There’s no doubt about it: life is hard. It’s a given.

Life is so hard we don’t even realize how often we walk around complaining about how hard life is anymore.

It’s kind of trending, in fact.

But there’s no doubt that life is also amazing and wondering, and with the bad stuff always comes some form of goodness, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.

If you’ve ever found yourself crying into your hands wondering why life is so hard, you are definitely not alone.

But humanity is slowly, albeit painfully slowly, starting to realize that a lot of the bad things that happen to us do not actually happen to us, they are just things that happen.

It’s our negative attitude or disposition that turns neutral circumstances into something full of despair and anger, confusion and frustration.

You got it: emotions, thoughts, and feelings. They are what make life so damn hard.

But there are other things too. Here are 5 reasons why life continues to be so hard for you.

Before I get started, I want to let you know about a new personal responsibility workshop I’ve contributed to. I know that life isn’t always kind or fair. But courage, perseverance, honesty — and above all else taking responsibility — are the only ways to overcome the challenges that life throws at us. Check out the workshop here. If you want to seize control of your life, then this is the online resource you need.

1) You are Selfish.

Yikes, way to hit the ground running, right? If you are an overly selfish person, you might find that life is a lot harder than people who tend to give of themselves to others.

We don’t mean you have to save a small country from famine or give someone the shirt off your back, but it is nice to consider others from time to time to take the focus off you.

When you take the focus off you, say to those poor, hungry people in the small country mentioned above, it makes you realize how good your own life is and it helps you to be grateful for what you have in life.

When we practice gratitude we are not only saying thank you to the universe for all that we have, but we are thankful for life in general. That makes life suck a whole lot less, trust us.

2) You are a Hypocrite.

If you are someone who tends to think she lives and dies by her word but then goes back on her word, either to yourself or someone you know, then you’ll find that life is not as fun as it could be.

The major reason people go back on their word is because of discomfort. We say we’ll lose 10 pounds in the new year, but it’s really hard.

In fact, it’s not hard at all.

What’s hard are the thoughts we have about losing 10 pounds. Losing 10 pounds is neutral. You say you’ll do something and then you don’t.

That’s what makes life harder than it needs to be.

If you do the things you said you would do, you’d live a much easier life, even if it means being uncomfortable from time to time.

(The only way to overcome adversity and conquer any challenge is through mental toughness. Check out my no-nonsense guide to developing mental toughness here).

3) We are Not as Free as We Think.

While humans like to hang on to the idea of free will, the truth is that many factors play into our decision making and choices in life.

Many of which we are not even aware of.

Take, for instance, stories your parents tell about your hometown: do you also believe that there is nothing for a teenager to do in that small town on a Friday night besides break into cars?

Is that the story you believe or is that the story you grew up hearing and never bothered to question?

We carry with us a tremendous amount of information that is not of our own minds, yet we’ve adopted it as truth in our lives.

These thoughts often dictate how we make decisions and how we live our lives. “I can’t find another job.” Well, not with that attitude.

When you examine how you think and feel, you might find that your free will has been compromised by a lifetime of information coming from all directions.

Perhaps it’s time to consider another viewpoint?

4) You Don’t Take Responsibility.

I think taking responsibility is the most powerful attribute we can possess in life.

Because the reality is that YOU are ultimately responsible for everything that happens in your life, including for your happiness and unhappiness, successes and failures, and for the quality of your relationships.

However, a brutal life lesson is that few people take responsibility for their lives. They prefer to blame other people and be a victim. And this is why life continues to be so hard for them.

I’ll briefly share with you how taking responsibility has transformed my own life.

Did you know that 6 years ago I was anxious, miserable and working every day in a warehouse?

I was stuck in a hopeless cycle and had no idea how to get out of it.

My solution was to stamp out my victim mentality and take personal responsibility for everything in my life. I wrote about my journey here.

Fast forward to today and my website Hack Spirit is helping millions of people make radical shifts in their own lives. We’ve become one of the world’s biggest websites on mindfulness and practical psychology.

This isn’t about bragging, but to show how powerful taking responsibility can be…

… Because you too can transform your own life by taking complete ownership of it.

To help you do this, I’ve collaborated with my brother Justin Brown to create an online personal responsibility workshop. Check it out here. We give you a unique framework for finding your best self and achieving powerful things.

This has quickly become Ideapod’s most popular workshop.

If you want to seize control of your life, like I did 6 years ago, then this is the online resource you need.

Here’s a link to our best-selling workshop again.

5) People Suck.

At the end of the day, no matter how hard you work on yourself, there will be another person waiting in the wings to burst your bubble.

The great burden of being alive is that we cannot control other people. We can only control how we feel and how we react to the neutral circumstances that come our way.

Circumstance remains neutral until we assign a value to them and blow them way out of proportion.

Consider that the next time you find yourself face to face with someone you don’t like: is it the person you don’t like, or the things they are doing?

It might help you see them in a different way and tolerate them for the time being.

Remember though, that your frustration with other people, which only causes you discomfort, is about you and not them.

Dig a little deeper to find out why someone is driving you bonkers before you write them off completely.

Once we accept that life is hard, we uncover some brutal lessons that will help us live better lives.

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Here are 40 brutal lessons that I’ve encountered from living a tough life:

READ MORE:  5 Skills To Learn To Help You Save Money

40 Brutal Lessons About Life

One of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had to live through was the passing of a close friend. She had been diagnosed with terminal cancer just two years before her death, and had dedicated her life towards serving others with purpose and passion in the time she had left.

On the day of her passing she had told me her greatest regret: that she didn’t start sooner. That she had spent so much of her life caring about distractions and drama.

Since that day, I’ve tried to live my life to the fullest, never wasting a day in the way she had regretted. I’ve let her words guide me, living by them as my constant reminder. Here are 40 hard truths that are captured from her advice, some which we may not want to hear, but have to.

1) Change is uncomfortable. Change will always be strange, weird, and discomforting, but that’s just the way it is. Be patient, and wait for change to become the norm.

2) How you respond to a situation is more important than the situation itself. You are kidding yourself if you believe life should be simple and uncomplicated. There will always be difficult choices and tough situations, and playing your cards right is the best way to move forward in life.

3) You are your own worst critic. You never give yourself the credit that you deserve, and you need to acknowledge that. You can be too hard on yourself, and you need to feel good about your own strength.

4) You neglect yourself too much. This is something we all do. Take care of yourself, your needs and your wants, and your life will be much better in every aspect.

5) Don’t waste time and energy on things you don’t care about. It can be easy to exhaust ourselves on pointless endeavors. But life is too short doing things that have no intrinsic value to us.

6) Distractions can take over your life if you don’t pay attention. Take a look at yourself: is your life filled with distractions? Could you do without them? Master your focus to master your life.

7) Anxiety is a part of life. You will never feel truly confident, so stop waiting for that elusive imaginary level of confidence, because you are using it as an excuse.

8) Waiting for the right circumstances is wasting your life. We often don’t want to move forward until all the stars have aligned. But guess what? The stars will never align unless you move them yourself.

9) Daydreaming is dangerous. Reminiscing about the past or fantasizing about the future can make you miss out on the only part of your life that matters—the present.

10) You don’t listen to things you don’t want to hear. Many of us surround ourselves in a bubble of opinions and truths that make us feel comfortable. We fail to grow because we never take in what we don’t want to hear.

11) The toughest walls will help you grow the most. Every tense and hard situation will help you grow a little bit higher and a little bit stronger. Embrace challenges for what they are.

12) Even the best chess grandmasters know when to move back. Like chess, life is a game where you have to know when to step forward and step back. It’s all about stepping into the winning position, regardless of where it might be.

13) Pay attention—everyone has something to teach. Don’t take the world for granted. Every obstacle and every interaction can become your teacher.

14) You don’t always get what you want. Deal with it, accept it. Learn to play with what you’ve got, instead of refusing to play at all.

15) Acting like the victim will have you treated like one. Stop complaining; life isn’t fair. Move on from your tragedies, and let you define your life, not the other way around.

16) Sometimes you don’t need closure. There are times where we have to move on from certain people or parts of our lives. We don’t always need to know “what could have been”; just know what could be.

17) Habits are the hardest things in the world to break. Be conscious of your daily habits, especially the negative ones. Don’t constantly fall back into toxic patterns, which will always try to come back into your life.

18) Don’t underestimate your mental strength. Your mind can do whatever you focus on. Use your mental strength to its greatest potential.

19) You can’t create positive habits overnight. Change takes a while. If you find yourself struggling to better yourself, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

20) Patience and waiting are different things. Don’t wait for things to happen; patience is about taking yourself forward one step at a time and staying positive about it.

21) People won’t always be honest about their feelings towards you. Their actions are more important than their words, so pay attention.

22) Don’t let shallow factors define the way you judge others. Don’t value titles, money, and accomplishments; instead, value humility, kindness, and integrity.

23) Popularity doesn’t matter. Live your life without giving a damn about popularity. Do what you want to do, not for the applause, but for the purpose.

24) Evaluate your sources of validation. Don’t live your life searching desperately for the validation of others. True validation can only come from within.

25) Listen to yourself. Don’t forget what you really feel and what you really want; it can be easy to lose track of your true values in all the noise.

26) “I’m busy” is the worst excuse. We are always “too busy”. But finding the time to do something is showing that you value it.

27) You cling onto things that are keeping you down. Evaluate the people and things you have in your life: if they aren’t helping you move forward, then they are keeping you down.

28) Your greatest superpower is staying calm. Don’t overreact, and don’t take things personally. Learn to be bigger than that; learn to stay calm.

29) Negative thoughts are a part of life. Letting your momentum go to waste simply because you had a bad day will forever keep you from reaching your dreams. Don’t let negativity define who you become.

30) Stress comes from within. No matter how tough or difficult a situation may be, the way you respond to it comes from within. Stop yourself from stressing out over everything.

31) Life will give and take, always. When life takes away something important from you, remember that it also gives you new things to appreciate and love. Life is in a constant state of flux.

32) Find peace through forgiveness. Holding grudges over others doesn’t hurt them as much as it hurts you. Solve your inner turmoil by forgiving those that have wronged you.

33) No one stays bad forever. We are always changing. Judging someone by their history no matter how much they have changed is unfair. Give others the chance to grow.

34) Don’t let disagreements turn into hatred. We have a tendency to dehumanize people that we don’t share opinions with. Be cautious, and watch yourself when you argue.

35) Learn to be more human. The modern world has taken some of our humanity from us; learn to embrace what it means to be human again. Smile, look people in the eye, and don’t stare at your screens all day. Talk and listen.

READ MORE:  How To Motivate Everyone Around You and Inspire Them

36) We don’t have the time to fight. There are only so many years before we say goodbye to everything, so why waste your time arguing and fighting?

37) Placing expectations on others will only leave you brokenhearted. Don’t expect; just appreciate.

38) Not everyone will respond and act the way you do. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment if you think that people will treat you the way you treat them.

39) Positive people find positive people. The way you think and act determines the type of people who stick to you. If you want good people around you, then you must be good, too.

40) Nothing lasts forever. Look around you and say thanks. Appreciate what you have—love, life, and happiness.

Ask Yourself:

Which of the points above make the most sense to you? How can you change yourself for the better?

How an average guy became his OWN life coach

I’m an average guy.

I’ve never been one to try and find meaning in religion or spirituality. When I feel directionless, I want practical solutions.

And one thing everyone seems to be raving about these days is life coaching.

Bill Gates, Anthony Robbins, Andre Agassi, Oprah and countless other celebrities go on and on about how much life coaches have helped them achieve great things.

Good on them, you may be thinking. They can certainly afford one!

Well I’ve recently discovered a way to receive all the benefits of professional life coaching without the expensive price tag.

Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don’t like and find your place in the world.

We won’t send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

Want to learn how to make a man fall in love with you and commit over the long-haul?

Then check out our free eBook Attraction Triggers.

This eBook has everything you need to know about the predictable patterns that make a man fall in love.

Most importantly, it will teach you practical techniques to activate those triggers in your man so you can build a successful long-lasting relationship.

Thanks so much for stopping by Hack Spirit. I hope you have enjoyed reading this article.

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ck Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Woman not wanting to look like stupid people

You might think that looking stupid in public is reserved for the, well, stupid people.

The truth is that we’ve all fell on our faces, so to speak, in one form or another in our lives, and it’s likely that these public acts of stupidity will occur again.

After all, we are only human.

There are some things we can do to avoid looking less intelligent than we really are, but despite knowing these things, we do them on a regular basis anyway.

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling a little embarrassed, or even stupid, because of your actions, take note: these 14 habits make people seem less intelligent.

That means that avoiding them can make you seem smarter, or at least, not stupid.

Here are 14 habits of stupid people.

1) Dressing Down Even if You Know Better

Even when we know the expected attire for an event is business casual, we like to translate that into “t-shirt and jeans.”

This is especially true in the startup business world where young and hip business owners think they don’t need to put on a suit and tie, or even a clean shirt, to go to work.

While that may be true in their own businesses, when people step outside their doors, they should be prepared to dress up, or at least, put on clean clothes.

If you want to look less intelligent, show up to an event wearing a pair of jeans. Everyone else will be wearing business casual or better.

To avoid feeling silly about your attire, always check to see what the dress code is, and then follow it. Don’t overdress either.

While it is nice to show up wearing a cocktail dress or tailored suit to a business event, it’s hardly appropriate when everyone else is wearing company-branded hoodies.

Following the dress code is the best way to avoid looking less intelligent.

2) Poor Postur

If you want people to take you seriously, you need to take yourself seriously. This means that you need to present yourself seriously.

So show people you are serious by adopting a posture that says you are professional and approachable.

In other words, don’t slouch.

Sure, it is fine if you are working in your basement or lazing on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, but if you are doing work, sit up straight. Even if you work at home, getting dressed and sitting at your desk makes all the difference in your approach to work, and how you see yourself in your life.

So sit up straight. Make sure your feet are planted firmly on the floor and don’t hunch over your computer.

If you are in a meeting, be sure to keep your hands in front of you so that you don’t cross your arms: this makes you look closed off and unapproachable to those around you.

3) Nodding Your Hea

Did you know that nodding your head can be seen as a sign that you aren’t actually listening?

Women are especially bad for tilting their heads to one side and nodding. It makes them, as well as men, look less intelligent.

It’s as if they are trying to comprehend what is being said to them and the body language does not translate well.

Top-level executives find this to be submissive behavior and they expect their best and brightest people to be assertive.

4) Not taking responsibility for their lives

One habit of stupid looking people is not taking responsibility for their lives.

I think taking responsibility is the most powerful attribute we can possess in life. And smart people know this.

Because the reality is that YOU are ultimately responsible for everything that happens in your life, including for your happiness and unhappiness, successes and failures, and for overcoming your challenges.

I want to briefly share with you how taking responsibility has transformed my own life, including the perception I have of myself.

Did you know that 6 years ago I was anxious, miserable and working every day in a warehouse?

I was stuck in a hopeless cycle and had no idea how to get out of it. I basically approached life like a stupid person would.

My solution was to stamp out my victim mentality and take personal responsibility for everything in my life. I wrote about my journey here.

Fast forward to today and my website Hack Spirit is helping millions of people make radical shifts in their own lives. We’ve become one of the world’s biggest websites on mindfulness and practical psychology.

This isn’t about bragging, but to show how powerful taking responsibility can be…

READ MORE:  Commit to Your Dream To Your Life style

… Because you too can transform your own life by taking complete ownership of it.

To help you do this, I’ve collaborated with my brother Justin Brown to create an online personal responsibility workshop. We give you a unique framework for finding your best self and achieving powerful things.

It’s quickly become Ideapod’s most popular workshop. Check it out here.

I know that life isn’t always kind or fair. After all, no one chooses to look stupid and less intelligent around other people.

But courage, perseverance, honesty — and above all else taking responsibility — are the only ways to overcome the challenges that life throws at us.

If you want to seize control of your life, like I did 6 years ago, then this is the online resource you need.

Here’s a link to our best-selling workshop again.

5) Using the Wrong Words

If you aren’t sure of a word’s meaning or the proper way to say it, learn it, or leave it out of your vocabulary.

Nothing makes you look less intelligent than using a word in the improper way. Using slang in a business setting also makes you look stupid, especially if people are from out of town and don’t understand the slang you are using.

To avoid making yourself look less intelligent than you really are, use the words you know for sure and expand your vocabulary on purpose to build your credibility and communication skills.

6) Undermining Your Own Opinions

If you want to look less intelligent than everyone around you, add a qualifier to every sentence you say.

Most people love to express their opinions, but those of us that are a little timid or have had a bad experience doing so usually add extra bits to their opinions or sentences, and it makes them appear less intelligent.

For example, you might say something like this, “I am not sure if this is right, but I think we should…” Even before you express your opinion, you’ve undermined it yourself.

This undercuts your position and causes people to ignore or neglect your opinion. Say it loud and say it proud to avoid putting yourself in this awkward position.

7) Being Too Judgmental

Jumping to conclusions is a sure sign of an unintelligent person. If you are someone who is hard and fast in their ways and beliefs, then you are not someone who is open to suggestion or learning new things.

People who are closed off are thought to be less intelligent than those who are opened to hearing the opinions of others.

8) Smoking

Sure, it might have been cool in 1996 to light up a cigarette after a meal, but it’s not the going trend anymore.

In fact, more people are turned off by smokers than they used to be.

This stems from subconscious absorption of information telling us that smoking is bad and if it’s bad, then why do so many people still do it?

It makes us look less intelligent, we smell bad, and people avoid talking to us.

What used to be the thing you did to be social and fit in is now the thing that will have you figuratively and literally standing out in the cold by yourself.

9) Using Bad English

Alright, we get it: English is hard. But that doesn’t give you a free pass on pronouncing words incorrectly.

People have probably pointed out this gem of a trait to you before and if they have, you should really work on it.

Mispronouncing words is a sure way to not get a job, not get the girl, and look like a fool while you are at it.

In particular, avoid saying things like “irregardless” (not a word), instead of “regardless” or “excetera” (also not a word), instead of “etcetera.”

10) Using Double Negatives

If you want to make people look twice and wonder where you went to school, insert double negatives into your vocabulary whenever you meet someone.

If you prefer to be taken seriously and not made fun of when you walk away, stop using double negatives.

If you say things, such as “I don’t worry about nothing around here” and think you sound great because you don’t have a care in the world, try saying, “I don’t have a care in the world” so people won’t ask what trailer park you grew up in.

11) Using the Word “Stuff”

If you are trying to sound smart, don’t use the word, “stuff”. When you finish a sentence with “…and stuff” you can guarantee that the person you are talking to is either literally going to roll their eyes at you or is doing it in their brain.

If there’s more to say, then say it. Otherwise, just end the sentence when you finish rhyming off whatever it is you are sharing with your conversation partner.

12) Being Hard and Fast about Your Point of View

The best way to turn people off and have them think you are an idiot is to say things as though they are the truth.

If you don’t allow for any grey area in your black and white life, then you are going to find out the hard way that you look stupid to other people.

Unless, of course, if they are also stupid and don’t bother to look at the story from any other point of view but their own.

Give yourself – and everyone around you – the benefit of the doubt and consider that you might be wrong once in a while and listen to what others have to say.

Don’t do all the talking and be willing to learn a thing or two when you leave your home.

13) Falling All Over Other People

If you want to avoid looking stupid to other people, don’t idolize everyone around you, including celebrities.

If you talk, act, dress, and show up as someone on TV, people will hate you for it. Just be yourself and play down your obsession with Jennifer Aniston. That haircut is out already.

14) Don’t Get Drunk in Public

Hey, if you want to drink yourself into a blinding hangover, go for it, but don’t do it in public. Being social is one thing, but drinking until you are an idiot is another.

While being drunk might have been funny when you were single and 23 years old, these days, showing up drunk to a family dinner is not so fun.

And while you shouldn’t care what other people think, you should do whatever you can to avoid looking or feeling stupid about your actions.

Keep it cool and sip your drink to be social. Leave the hard-partying behind you.

In Conclusion

We’ve all felt that twinge of shame when we’ve done something we are less than proud of in our lives.

We’ve all felt the sting of guilt when we said something less than appropriate.

It’s hard to take your foot out of your mouth once it’s been inserted, but sometimes the best way to avoid feeling stupid is to not do stupid things: plain and simple.

For some, it’s easier said than done, but there’s nothing a little self-awareness and practice can’t fix when it comes to making yourself look like less of a goof in front of a pretty girl, your boss, or even your parents.

Remember to stop doing the above 13 things so that you don’t look stupid in public or feel like an idiot when nobody is looking.

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