You’re lying to yourself and to your friends when you say that you’ve moved on and that you’re getting over. Just because you’ve clicked unfollow on your ex’s Instagram and Twitter page doesn’t mean that you’ve already moved on. There are plenty of little red flags there that say you’re still right where you were: still trying to get over the fact that you’ve broken up and are no longer together. Don’t worry. That’s not an abnormal state of mind to be in. Moving on and getting over can be really tough especially for people who fall in love so hard. You don’t have to rush the process of moving on and it really doesn’t help that you’re trying to lie to yourself about it. Remember that the first step to actually fixing a problem is recognizing that you have one.
But we get it. You may be in denial. You don’t want to believe that you’re not over your ex because you’re trying to save face or you want to force yourself to believe that you are in a happy and healthy place. But again, you’re going to have to come to terms with the truth if you really want to make yourself genuinely happy again. Still don’t believe that you’re in denial about the whole situation? Then put yourself to the test. There are some very simple signs and red flags that you can be on the lookout for to determine if you’re still stuck in that hole that you’re in. Here are a few very discreet signs that you still haven’t moved on from your ex.
1. You still stalk your ex on his social media feeds.
One very obvious sign that you still aren’t over your ex is if you’re still trying to keep tabs on his whereabouts and his activities. If you had really moved on and gotten over the breakup, then you wouldn’t really be wasting your time trying to update yourself on what he’s doing. And yet you do. Sure, you’ve unfollowed him on your Instagram and Twitter. But you still make the effort to actually go to his page from time to time to see what he’s up to.
2. You stalk your ex’s new girl on social media too.
It’s not just him that you’re keeping tabs on, but you’re trying to check out his new girl too. That’s just taking the crazy train to a whole new level. A person who has genuinely moved on from an ex wouldn’t be obsessing over the idea of her ex dating another girl. If you have really gotten over your ex, then it wouldn’t really be a big deal to you that your ex is seeing another woman. But the fact that you’re still obsessing over it is a clear sign that you haven’t moved on completely.
3. You find yourself thinking about your ex often.
From time to time, your thoughts still linger to the idea of you and your ex being together. Now those thoughts don’t necessarily have to be positive all the time. You don’t always have to be thinking happy thoughts when you think about your ex. You could be thinking negative thoughts about your ex and that would still be proof that you haven’t moved on yet. You wouldn’t be thinking about your ex at all, whether positively or negatively, if you were really over the breakup.
4. You haven’t been making an effort to date new people.
You aren’t really interested in seeing other people yet and so you haven’t really been putting yourself out there. Now if the breakup is still fresh, then that’s fine. You shouldn’t be in a rush to put yourself on the market so quickly after a breakup. The wounds might still be a little too fresh. But eventually, you’re going to have to get back on that horse. Now if substantial time has passed, and you still refuse to date other people, then that might be a sign that you’re still hung up on your ex. You can’t get over the fact that you’re not together anymore and the thought of dating another person just seems wrong to you.
5. You still make an effort to keep in touch with each other.
And the last big sign that you haven’t moved on from your ex is that you still make a conscious effort to make sure that you keep in touch with one another. Now, it’s perfectly okay for exes to remain friends. There have been plenty instances of failed romantic couples who have somehow made the easy transition into a platonic friendship. But even then, if you were truly over your ex, you wouldn’t be putting so much effort into making sure that you guys are still communicating with one another.