Everyone I have met in my life wants unlimited opportunities, better relationships, a healthy body, a forgiving heart, a sharp mind, amazing skills, and financial security. If we all want these things, why can’t we accomplish them? The answer is simple: negative self talk.
The reason why many of us can’t get there is because we have a critical inner voice inside our head that tends to be negative and convincing.
Our inner voice is trying to convince us that we are not smart enough, strong enough, or good enough to do what we want to do in life. This invisible enemy inhibits us from pursuing the life we deserve, leading to anxiety, depression, and a higher stress level.
If we want to reach our potential and improve our mental health, we have to take control of this inner voice and learn how to tame it and transform it into a positive force.
It is important for us to learn more about this negative self talk before we can tame it to become a helpful positive force. Let’s start with the 4 different types of negative self-talk.
Types of Negative Self Talk
Studies show that there are four main types of negative self talk:
Let’s go through these one-by-one.
You magnify the negative aspect of every situation. For example, you gained three pounds this week. You focus on this, and you ignore that you have lost 20 pounds this month.
You always blame yourself for everything. For example, you hear that your soccer practice got canceled, and you assume that it is canceled because no one wanted to be around you.
You always expect the worst. For example, you have a flat tire in the morning, and you automatically assume the rest of your day will be horrible.
You either see things as perfect or horrible. For example, you got mad at your son and lost your temper; therefore, you are a horrible parent.
Next time you catch yourself talking negatively to yourself, ask yourself:
- Am I filtering the positive out of this issue?
- Am I blaming myself for something that I have no control over?
- Am I expecting the worst of this?
- Am I seeing things as black and white?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, take a step back and consider what you can do to turn your thinking from negative to positive.
It is important to take control of these thoughts before they become beliefs. A belief is something that you are certain about. The sooner you address these negative thoughts, the sooner you can move your life and business forward.
3 Steps to End Negative Self Talk
It is clear that negative self talk hinders your progress and prevents you from living the life that you deserve. Here are three methods you can use daily to overcome this innate habit.
1. Respond to Your Inner Voice
In a recent HBR article, Erica Ariel Fox stated that the toughest conversations any of us can have are the ones that we have with ourselves.