Singles make up a huge percentage of the Christian church, but most pastors preach out parenting and marriage over dating. That can leave many young singles unsure of how to navigate the dating world. How do you find the right person to marry? How can you tell if your relationship is glorifying God? What are some dos and don’ts of romance?
The awkwardness of trying to figure out how to be a single Christian alone leads many to make mistakes. They are quick to fall into traps set up by Satan, because they do not understand God’s role when it comes to dating. Here are the sinful pitfalls of dating, and how you can date in a way that glorify God.
Dating the wrong person for too long.
One way you will never find “the one” is by choosing to date someone who is clearly wrong for you. Many singles, Christian or not, find it hard to let go of relationships they’ve tried hard to make work. But there are always more fish in the sea, and God wants you to find the one He made just for you. When God leads you to a breakup, it is best to listen.
Being desperate for a relationship.
Some Christian singles will date anyone that comes their way, because they are afraid they will not find someone else. It can be hard to find other Christian singles, but that doesn’t mean that you should lower your standards. Other singles get nervous that if they do not get married or have kids by a certain age that they will have fallen behind in life. Neither is true! God has a plan for who you will be with, and sometimes it might be a bit before you meet them. In His timing though, it will work out like it is supposed to.
Being too picky.
On the flipside of being too desperate, there are those Christian singles that are too picky. They are waiting for the perfect prince charming to come in and sweep them off of their feet. While God did make someone who fits you, that does not meant that person will never have faults. All relationships take work. With God at the center of your relationship, though, you can overcome the flaws.
Going too fast in the relationship.
When Christian singles are eager to date, they sometimes move too fast. They will start talking about the future with someone before really getting to know them, for example. But do not move forward with someone just because you feel lonely. It is important to take the time to get to know them for who they really are – in good situations and the bad. You might miss out on important red flags because you have an idolized version of the person in your mind.
Compromising your faith.
Do not let them push you past any boundaries you have set for yourself, just because you feel blinded by love. Your dedication to God is more important than a new relationship. This includes sexual intimacy, drinking in excess, or skipping out on church in favor of time with them. If you have to compromise your values as a Christian to be someone they love, then they are not the one for you. The right one will support your Christina lifestyle, not try to corrupt you from it.
Having a lack of confidence.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” Christian singles can’t be passive when it comes to dating. They must muster up the confidence to get themselves out there and meet other people. God will support you if you struggle with feelings of rejection. Additionally, Christian singles need to have a healthy amount of confidence when it comes to knowing what they deserve. Those with low self-confidence are more likely to date people who treat them poorly, because they do not feel they can get better.
Letting others control the relationship.
Church friends usually mean well, but sometimes they do not know it all. They do not need to be in your relationship telling you what to do, and what not to do. Oftentimes, there becomes a lot of pressure from others to rush to marriage and start having children. They might drop intrusive “hints” or be manipulative. You must remember that the relationship is between you and that person only, not the rest of your church. Let God guide you in the choices you make.
Not being your authentic self.
When you are dating someone, you need to be upfront about who you are. That includes everything from your values to your favorite TV shows. If you pretend to be someone else in an effort to get them to like you more, then you are betraying yourself. You always will lose their trust when you find out you lied to them. It is OK to admit your shortcomings, faults, and quirky likes or dislikes. God made you perfect just the way you are, and that means finding someone who likes you for those traits. It is worth waiting for the right one.
Christians should view dating as a way to get to know others and figure out what they do and do not want out of a relationship. God has someone perfect for you that will love you for everything that you are. It is important to never settle for less! Do not waist time on a cheater, non-Christian, or the like. God will not honor a relationship like that.